A tale for your amusement...

Greetings my warm clime network!

Update on mom before the story starts:

So, mom has not been well, sort of since about xmas. She was bit by her male cat and when we went to the dr. she got the required antibiotic and also another rx that apparently was to help her gain back the 9 lbs she lost (mom cannot afford to lose any weight and struggles to gain a pound a year, literally).

Well, she started having runny BM's and some mean gas pains, so the dr cut the antibiotic in half. That helped, but then it got worse again. She went on the BRAT diet supplemented with gatorade. Well, she had lost another 4 pounds and was down to just over 108 pounds. So the stubborn old cow finally agreed to go back to her dr.

So, the story starts...

I woke up around 4 am and the bedroom and bath was much colder than usual. It was about 0 outside, but the furnace was running fine. Well, I laid in bed worried about mom until 7 am. I got up and went into the bathroom, leaned down to turn on the hot water to start the shower and nothing. Cold water? Nothing.

F F F. So, my mind is now whirling. My garage is warmer than mom's basement. If my pipes are froze... so are hers. She has serious BM issues and no toilet is not good at all. So I toss on something warm and head down into the basement and open the door that leads to the garage.

Bitter blast of artic air hits me in the face and I notice that I have a nice big opening out to the driveway where the damn garage door is supposed to be blocking my view. The door apparently bounced back open last night when I closed it about 6pm and had been allowing negative temperature air into the garage all night. All my bathroom pipes are exposed in the garage ceiling.

Yes. Are we having fun kids?

Well, ok I am relieved because this means mom's pipes are probably fine and I just have to deal with mine.

Well, I get breakfast, feed the cats and clean up some to go to mom's because she promised she would call the doc first thing when they open at 9 am (yes, 9 am).

It snowed on Wednesday, so I knew I had to shovel the walks, so I spent a few minutes fiddling with the hairdryer on the pipes, but decided mom getting to the doctor was more important. So, I turned off the main water supply to the house and left for mom's.

I started shoveling and then sweeping the walks. Thanks to my totally awesome Gordini Dry Max waterproof mittens that I bought for snowboarding (and gave up when I nearly snapped my neck) my fragile little digits stayed nice and toasty. My bum, however got a wee bit chilly even with the extra pounds I have added on for winter insulation.

I went inside and Mom had already talked to the doctor and the doc said "get over here" so we went the to doctor and I told the doc that I was highly suspicious of the coincidence betwee the celexa rx being started and the BM issues (mom has no other meds - was supposed to be on an osteoporosis med, but stopped taking it a couple of years ago - we corrected that) so it seemed odd that it would be anything else.

Well, she told mom to stop taking the celexa (the dose is very low, so according to her, no danger of serious side effects from mom just stopping cold turkey). I am sticking real close by anyway...coming off an anti-depressent seems like a risky period especially for a grieving widow. Although mom maintains she is not depressed, just lonely.

Well, we left the dr.'s with a rx for a stronger anti-diahrhea (sp???) than you can get over the counter (those and the otc gas pills were not touching her problems). We went to the Cub grocery store mom and dad always use for meds. They did not have it in stock. They nicely called the Walgreens down the street. They had them, yippee.

So, we went over to Walgreens with a very tired mommy. She went in to get the rx and I went to the autostore next door.

Ohh. yeah, forgot to say her car battery was completely dead. I tested it at less than a volt and when it takes 12 to start the car, well that ain't gonna get it. So the fellow at the autostore needed to know the size of the engine. Apparently there are 2 different engines for the 2002 civic. Great. No, I did not know the engine size, but I will from now on!

So I go back to the Walgreens and she is at the pharmacy window. Walgreens lost the contract with the insurance provider that covers mom's meds, so even though they have those pills, we can't get them. Nice. She suggests the Target down the road.

We arrive at Target. I do the paperwork cause mom has never taken an rx there, and mom goes to the snack bar to sit and see if there is something she might feel like she can put in her poor tummy. The clerk says it will be ready at 12:05. that was about 20 minutes. So I go and sit with mom, who decided that deep fried chicken fingers was what she wanted to try. Well, I arrived just in the nick of time. I guided her to a more tame ham sandwich (sans cheese and spinach) and she ate nearly half of it.

Just as I was going back to the pharmacy (deep in the bowels of the target) they paged mom to the pharmacy. Not good.

Well, turns out they don't have the medication on hand either!

You know that saying about don't shoot the messenger? Well, I was the messenger and I was a wee bit worried about approaching mom with that little piece of paper instead of a bag. She was not amused and was exhausted already.

I had the good sense to ask them to call another pharmacy that I knew would take mom's insurance and to verify that they had 90 pills in stock. They did. We went. They filled the rx and when I opened that bag on the way out (mom stayed in the car with the motor running) and nearly hurt myself laughing.

I have never seen such a large bottle of pills in an rx bottle. The damn thing must be 6 inches tall! Mom got a good chuckle out of it when I showed it to her, then she wondered how she would swallow them. She did...

So I took dear mommy home, she went straight to bed and I cleaned her kitchen while she napped. After she woke up and was at least as fine as she has been, I went home to let POOR SNUGGIE outside.

Now little boy went out for like 3 minutes at about 7:30 this morning and I am sure he made no deposits. It was about 3 (time and temp) when I got home and he had been in since 7 pm the night before. He went out, came back, went out and came back all in the span of about 15 minutes. He then jumped on the back of the couch and looked out the window.

I decided I needed to deal with my plumbing issues. I go downstairs and turn the water main back on and can see a steady stream of water pouring from a pipe right behind the car. Ok. there is a shut off valve on that pipe. So I shut the main back off, get the little ladder, go over to the side of the car to reach up to shut off the line valve. The side of the car is freshly wet... huh???

There are no pipes above that part of the car. So I shut the valve off, turn the main back on in hopes that the water will stop flowing and I can at least use the toilet or the kitchen sink or something. No such luck. Apparently the leak was before the line shut off. But I did find where the water came from that was spewing on the side of the car! There is an indoor garden hose spiggot and that wee little copper pipe split open.

So, I call the plumber. Now, remember that we have had below 0 temps and, well, for you lifetime warmlanders, pipes freeze, lots of pipes freeze. Plumbers are BUSY as all get out. I joke around with the plumbers wife and she says they'll call me back when she knows something.

OK, I have been sucking down DDP all day. My toilet does not have enough water to rise above that little neck part and I have no idea when they will be coming. Willie is a committed guy and they will work 24/7 and not charge overtime rates. Crazy man. So I am pretty sure he will be here tonight, but it literally may be midnight when he calls asking, can I come over now?

Well, I was giving the TumbleFur gang some attention and just happened to notice Snuggie enter the liter box closet in the office. Wow.

I don't think he has used the liter box since the first day he was allowed outside after we moved to Kia Rio. I am happy that he is wise enough to piss in the warm instead of doing it at 5 degrees.

About five minutes later I happen to glance in the office and see him hunkered down over my favorite red prayer rug I brought back from Iran. It is in the office enroute to the liter box. He was pissing on it.

Now. I have a cat pissed soaked persian prayer rug and NOT a drop of water. I tossed it out on the front porch and wiped the floor down with the enzymes for animal oopsyies and then went out in the freakin 5 degrees to pour it on the rug. I went back out 5 minutes later to blot it and was not happy to see the hand dyed red blotting off on my white terry work towel.

Can't leave the cat piss smell in it or might as well just shred it and put it in the liter box, so I just toss the rug over the porch rail and come inside.

Can't wash my hands though. No water. Cat piss, enzymes and I used up all my hand sanitizer back when I was going to the park to pee before I got the john installed.

Nice.

So, HOW IS YOUR DAY?

Gotta run, I think the plumber is here... yippee. Gotta go, gotta go.